2017 like a truck to the abdomen

Hey, guys- happy new year!
New Years is weird; it feels so hopeful, frightened, melancholy, blah, blah, blah. I think it's the weirdest holiday- it has so much tied up in it. We're celebrating release, and the new; we're celebrating out of optimism, because we have to, or fear? Or just celebrating because celebrating because celebration is celebration?
It's been a year. I've been in and out on the blog. I have so so many people; people in general, who I love and don't and who I just like to observe. I have a permit, I have things I now have, and lack things I had last year.
anyway. Here is to a new year, guys. Here are some nye vibes
     (Carly Rae Jepson's 'your type' video)
      (Tavi Gevinson, Rookie Mag, Material Girl mag/unknown)
  (both unknown)
(Petra Collins, unknown)

(Rookie mag, unknown, Franck Bohbot, unknown))
 

A post on Ghosts

Today's photo will come later tonight; tonight is the Snow Ball at church (Stranger Things has ruined me) so I will probably take a photo there.
I just finished the book Ghosts by Raina Telgemier- I got it as a Christmas present and finished it that day. I've been following Raina for a while. I have read every book she's ever written, seen every mini-comic, etc.etc. nerdy fan stuff, etc. Her primary books in my opinion are Smile, a graphic novel memoir based on her experiences with middle school, high school, friends, boys, and extreme dental drama. Extreme dental drama. When it came out, in 2010, I was around the same age as Raina was in the book. I was awkward and immature like her, I was a girl scout, I had fickle friends, and I was just starting the orthodontic process. Smile was solace to me, at the end of the book, there was a picture of Raina when she wrote it; she was a graphic novelist with nice teeth and a husband who survived middle/high school. She was the goal.
 
 When the sequel to Smile came out-Sisters- I flipped.
Sisters hit me on another level- it follows Raina and her little sister Amara and their relationship growing up. Their interactions mirrored me and Amazon's at the time almost perfectly; another win for Telgemier in my book.
Her third book, Drama (she kind of has a thing for single word titles?) was something I picked up while I was auditioning for my second musical. This was her first non-autobiographical book, and it's themes of love, family, acceptance, and self-awareness were just what I needed then. It is the only book I've read that totally supports and represents all aspects of theater. 
 
Now Ghosts. I've been reading Raina's stuff for so long, I felt I had to read it almost out of duty, I wasn't as hyped for it as I as for Sisters, you know? It was good though. It was darker than the others at times. It was a bit cheesier than the others at times. I liked it, but it wasn't exceptional or special or touching the way the others were. That's a little disappointing, but I'm still glad that I read it.
Raina Telgemier, the queen of graphic novels, my first inspiration, you've done it again.

Day 1

I've decided to take a mini-photography challenge that will last until January 17. I'm going to take a photo every day based on prompts from a list I found somewhere on Pinterest. This will not only keep me taking pictures, but it will hopefully keep me blogging. Even though I haven't been on in a while (a while that could have been me just 'letting go') I'm not really ready to not do this anymore. If I'm not going to do this anymore, I'll give you a notice.

Today's prompt was 'self portrait'. My alarm to remind me to take the picture went off at 9, so I rolled out of bed, grabbed my camera, and took a picture.
I've been working on the comic more! I've got 8.5 out of about 110 done!
Oh my gosh. ugh.
I wasn't working on that for a while too, but then I was looking at my old journal with the first character sketches and stuff and just thought "THESE ARE MY BABIES I CANNOT JUST ABANDON THEM." But I'm also an incredibly slow worker when it comes to painting, so it's not going very quickly. ugh.
I'm going to a Harry Potter marathon tonight; aka YEAH BOI. To be honest, I loved Harry Potter and everything, but Harry bugged the heck out of me. Ron, Hermione, Fred, George, Luna, Neville, etc.- they're what made the books for me. Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, though. Whoo, boy. That was an emotional ride for me; I'm a pretty emotional movie watcher, and that was. intense. I am 100% in love with the whole thing. I might be posting some fanart for it eventually.
It's a marathon with other people though. I have definitely gotten better in group situations. I haven't had to flat out leave an event for my anxiety since late September. I've had a bit of a realization that has made it easier to stay. I actually do like people. It's definitely 'trendy' to not like people, and I understand people who don't like people. But I do; my friends are my energy source, I need people. I keep this in mind when I go, and it's more enjoyable. I generally have the early physicals symptoms of an attack; mild shivering, heart beating really quickly, light-headedness; but it's the happy kind. My mind is okay; I'm happy to be there. I just think about that, and it's cool again.
Seeya' tomorrow, guys.

It's been a while, my friends.

Sorry I haven't written in a really long time. I suck. I have also had other things to do. Believe it or not, but I've been developing a social life for myself. It's kind of weird.

I turned 16. Apparently, when you are 16, the only thing adults want to talk to you about is dating, cause that's all we're good for at this point. Hm. I got a camera.

I want to start working on my photography a bit more seriously. I will try and do more shoots, and I'll post them here. The school blocked my blog though, so I haven't been able to do posts at school.

The light in this shoot came from the weird orange sphere light pictured in the top pictures. I was carrying it around and balancing it on my arm/head so I could get the light source right.

This was mainly a test-shoot for my new camera. This picture was me figuring out the flash.

I will try to keep up, guys. Forgive me. I still love you.

Or something poetic like that.

Light creeping down the stairs, like me. Or something poetic like that.

Happy Thanksgiving, all! Sorry I haven't been writing as much lately. Things haven't been busy, so I guess my only excuse is that I was fully enjoying my lack of stuff to do now that the show is over.
So this morning, I woke up (surprise surprise, I know it's a dumb sentence) but no one woke me up. No alarm, or parent, or sibling; it was just me, and the sun in my eye. That almost never happens; especially not after lacking sleep, on a Saturday, or when I'm sick. Hm.
I've been listening to a new podcast: The Orbiting Human Circus (Of The Air), produced by the same people who do Night Vale. I haven't been a super big fan of the past two shows they put out (Within the Wires, and Alice isn't Dead), but I really love this one. It's amazing music (mainly from Julian Koster and The Music Tapes) is INCREDIBLE, and the whole story is endearing and creepy and comforting in this new way. It reminds me of a radio show from the 30s, The Invention of Hugo Cabret, Christmas lights, theater. It has been my podcast to sleep for the past couple nights.
There is something about blogging; do you remember my Thanksgiving post last year? It was just a Polyvore collage saying 'Happy thanksgiving readers!' or something like that. Because I blogged about it, I can remember exactly what I was thinking about then, what my aesthetic was, how I wanted to dress, what I was working on, etc. I feel like I'm reliving it to some extent because I remember it; so none of the ideas are original, they are just being repeated because it feels like that right now. Maybe this is one of the purest forms of nostalgia, or something weepy and poetic like that; the kind of nostalgia you get to re-experience instead of just pine after. Though I think it's always like that around the Holiday's. We get out the same decorations, visit the same family, or don't; but acknowledge that it's happening the same way it does every year. I like it. Each year I'm the same person, but with some additions and subtractions.
It reminds me of something we were talking about in English class; we were focusing on Native American literature, and were reading a contemporary piece by N. Scott Momaday. Our teacher was explaining to us how different people experience/describe time; Momaday calls his version of time 'burrito time'. All of time is in this one burrito; it isn't linear the way most people see it, so we can have experiences with our ancestors who we didn't technically know.
I, of course, had to make a dumb joke about it (How do you know it's burrito time? Because you hear the taco bell) but it did make me think. I suppose I've thought of time linearly, but I like to think of time more in the aspect of personal history. Like jenga blocks. (this will all tie in soon, I promise) each year/milestone adds more blocks/layers. Sometimes things are removed from the tower; relationships,memories, abilities and you have to fill it with something or it will fall over. Like a new memory to make it feel better, or a new person, etc. Everyone's jenga towers are either on top of, combined with, or just existing by everyone else's; family, friends, or strangers. That's where the idea that we are always the same people comes from. I guess.
That got a lot longer than I expected, but you know. It's early in the morning and burrito time.
Happy almost over November, readers!

Sketchbook dump

Traveling Music

My math class has turned into a bit of a time machine. My teacher always plays music in class, and 9/10 it is a song that I remember. Maybe it's not a song that I necessarily like now, but I did know it a while ago, and it was distinct enough to remember. Like 'Postcard' by The Barenaked Ladies, or 'Party in the U.S.A' by Miley Cyrus, or 'You and I' by Ingrid Michaelson (please, I don't understand my geometry teacher's tastes either...) This is traveling music to me; not in the sense of a road trip; but in the way that makes me travel.
'Postcard' takes me back to 2008 or so, when I thought it was the funniest best song ever because it talked about monkeys. Amazon and I would sing it in our shared bedroom quietly because we were embarrassed by our 8/6 year old voices.
'Party in the U.S.A' takes me to when Bean was first born, and she would laugh and giggle whenever it was played. We decided it was her favorite song. I was going through a sign language kick at the time, and learned the whole chorus (which I can still do.)
'You and I' puts me in Illinois again, when I was first developing my own musical tastes. 'You and I' was for my occasional happy moment; when I felt invincible to the corn fields and empty people around me. 'Keep Breathing' and 'The Chain' were more often played and reserved for when the endless Midwestern skies seemed oppressively close.
It reminds me of that one line in 'Stressed Out' (yes, I'm a legit TOP fan, and yes, I still like 'Stressed Out'. Good for freaking you if you don't) "Sometimes a certain smell will take me back to when I was young/ How come I'm never able to identify where it's coming from". But in this case, it isn't smells, but sounds. They can directly evoke our life.
I want to talk to people about this, and ask them about what they used to be, or what they remember. There are so many ways that you can learn about a person; I'm a big believer that their music tastes is one way to see into them. Past music tastes can be even stronger.
Anyways.
Have a good Friday. Tell me about where your music takes you
(Jeez this is the most somber and pretentious post I've written in a while. Forgive)

Here is a dumb  photo off of sketchpad. Yep.

Hey Dudes!

I just had to make lil' Soos fanart. We watched the episode 'Blendin's Game', and I was 100% dead because of baby Soos's adorable smolness. Ahhh. CUTE.

November 2

Sitting in the lunch room. Decided to sit alone today. I'm eating cheezits and left-over Halloween candy. Life is good.
And that has been our daily segment on Mandarin's lunch situation. In other news.
Anyway.
It was 'career day' for the tenth graders today, a.k.a "Let us professionalize you before you can drive a car!" And by professionalize I mean like a profession. There wasn't one single booth there dedicated to anything remotely related to what I want to do. I live in an engineering town, so science, physics, mechanics, math, etc. is what is expected of us. Not for me, no thank you. I was a little let down over the fact that I spent an hour of my day listening to my counselor telling me to 'branch out'. But whatever. During one of the lectures me and some friends went to, I saw another friend I hadn't seen in a while walking by. I stopped her, we chatted, and messed around, joking; trying to look like we were 'branching out' when we were really just goofing off. Situations led to situations, and I ended up making another one of my friend's mad because I was messing around. I felt bad at first for interrupting the lecture. Then I felt kind of mad that she was mad at me for something so dumb. Then I panicked.
I generally don't have panic attacks at school. This one wasn't even that bad; it wasn't intense enough that it meant I needed to leave the classroom. My stomach hurt, my breathing was intense, and I was jumpy. All I could feel was responsible in the worst version of the word. It is my responsibility, as a friend, to be patient, to try and help them out, etc. I felt like I was letting her down by not being considerate of her feelings, and by doing that I was letting myself down. I don't have many friends at school. I have a lot of wonderful friends, but very few that I see on a daily basis. If I give that up, what will I have? I felt bad. I'm feeling a lot better now, though. I'm going to talk to her about it later today.
I've continued to spend more time with Bean. She is so surprisingly personality filled and smart. She is actually one of my best friends. Just a lot cuter than most of my friends (I mean that in the best way possible) She keeps me calm when I'm stressing out over homework. She talks to me about school. We both talk about whether or not Bill Cypher is real or not.
M; (groans)
B; What's wrong? Why are you making that sound?
M: I'm just super stressed out with all of this homework that i have to do.
B: Don't worry. You will finish soon, and then we can eat dinner.
M: You're right. Dinner sounds good.
B; Yeah.
Yesterday I was talking to her and telling her how nice and smart she is, etc. etc. I spoil her, etc. and Ilooked her in the eyes and said

And she was like

I explained to her that it was a figure of speech. We went and watched and episode of Pokemon; Indigo League. Life is good.

You are my rock, readers.

THIS IS
HALLOWEEN
THIS IS

HALLOWEEN


HALLOWEEN

HALLOWEEN

HALLOWEEN
HALLOWEEN

Yes. It is. The most wonderful time of year. I have premiered my third costume of the season; my first was Elpheba; Katherine was Glinda, the second was Tyler Joseph; Amazon was Josh Dun, the third (today's) was a skin'n'bones/skeleton war recruit.

I got the half a skull's head bandanna at Goodwill; they had skull bandannas in bulk for some reason. My teachers keep telling me I look like a thief/terrorist. Great. I'm probably going to go trick-or-treating with Bean tonight. The past few Halloweens in town have been seriously cold or rainy, so this one should be the first 'official' Halloween of the year. I'm excited. Our family has been 'running low' on candy/sweets in the house; we need to stock up. It's a good problem to have.
I am grateful for costumes. I'm grateful for candy. I'm grateful for crunchy leaves, and that smell in the air, and my winter/fall clothes. It truly is the best time of year.
Be safe if you want, readers. Happy Halloween.

Eternal Moments and Beans

I sat by another 'new' person at lunch today. She's not really new, I've sat by her before. She's pretty amazing- I love spending time with her. We had a good discussion on sitting in bathrooms, sibling nicknames, and Hamilton. Valuable things to talk about with a senior.
For A Christmas Carol Amazon and I have been going to set-building sessions out in the middle of nowhere  Michigan. Our high school has it's own special location where we do all of our work, and we've been regularly meeting there since we don't have a set crew yet.
 It was later in the evening, around 7:45 (already dark out), and we had the big garage-like door up. Music, probably pop music, but it seemed much more sincere than usual, was playing, and it all smelled like wood dust and paint. I was working on a board (we're making 1950s dance floors for a fundraiser) by myself, and had only my thoughts to distract me. It was one of those eternal moments, the really plain ones that just stick.  The ones where you don't really know why they stay with you, but they do. Like sitting in the snow when you were 9, staring up at the gray sky. Like opening a birthday present from your grandma when you were 5. Like the bus ride back from the Amusement Park choir trip, when you first felt like a teenager, when your favorite song was playing loudly enough that you could actually feel it.
I was thinking about what's going to define life. I haven't been old, or (I don't think) close to death. I haven't really thought was my life was made up of. I've heard stuff from other people; it's made up of your accomplishments, it's made up of your regrets; the things you never did. It's made up of the people you know, or the things you make. I don't know. I guess this is oversimplified and a bit pretentious, but isn't life just made up of life? I think the whole point of it is that it's some weird tasting blend of everything. It's not just achievement; it's not just sorrow. Maybe it's what you choose to focus on. When I'm a cute old person (the only thing I want to be) I don't want to exclude any moment; I don't want to focus on the crappy stuff that happened in Illinois, I don't want to dwell on the best friends I lost in high school, I don't want to focus on how awesome I was when I wrote my first book (in the distant (?) future) I want it to be this life smoothie that I can enjoy, but it also tastes super strange; I can't tell if I like it, but I keep drinking it. Or something like that.

anyway.
We finished The Crucible in English class. I really enjoyed it, actually; a lot of people who I know didn't. Bits of conversation about it;
G; I guess I didn't like it because of the teacher; the book itself was fine. I wasn't super interested in it, but my teacher forced the interest in it.
J; There is just so much evil in it. It's hard for me to read something that has that much evil put into it.
Me; But, where would we be in a story if there wasn't conflict? Wouldn't it be boring if nothing happened and everything was awesome?
J: Well, no, I suppose. But still, just too much evil.
(I wasn't really a fan of that convo)
Me; My teacher had us listen to the song 'The Cave' by Mumford and Sons and compare it to The Crucible. It totally blew my mind.
A; Why would she ruin a good song like that?
A.H; What do you mean ruin?
Me; You didn't like it?
A; No, it just seemed like the point of the whole story was disappointing. In the end, even if you're the good guy, like Proctor, you're still not going to 'win'. You die in the end.
Me; Hm. Well, I liked it.
I'm in my math class right now. 'Party in the USA' by Miley Cyrus just came on. This song reminds me of Bean; when she was 2 or so, this was her favorite song. She would giggle and try to sing along and dance. I think about Bean more these days. Amazon and I have been in a bit of a fight- not really fighting, but mainly not getting along. I want to hang out all the time, she wants anything but. So? I've been hanging with Bean more. It's great; I'm kind of surprised by how smart she is; she can just figure things out. She is seven. She is fun to hang out with. I wonder if she has eternal moments.
Hope the eternity is comfortable, readers.

Today is the big game between the two rival high schools in town. It's actually pretty intense; it makes for a good day. This morning, in band class, we practiced for the game tonight. In second hour, we marched the hallways (a gameday tradition), during 6th hour there is an assembly (that the band is playing in), and then the game tonight with the combined high school bands. It is a very band-ish day. I'm really not complaining.
I've been eating lunch with another new group. I already kind of know them- I'm really good friends with one of the group. I was struck today, when sitting with them, by how smart they all are. They're intelligent, but they can have a good time, and invite others to have a good time with them. It's not an exclusive kind of smart- I don't consider that 'smart' I consider it 'too cool for school'. Amazon's friends can sometimes be like that; our senses of humor aren't the same, so I always feel dumb around them. If it had been my group of people up against one of them, would they feel dumb? Anyway.
It was a realization. There are people who are somewhat like me; who are somewhat like the friends I had. I don't want to put these people on a pedestal or anything, they're not perfect, but they are so close, it surprised me. I want to pursue it. I want to be their friend, but I'm worried I'll make it weird.
The girl that I already knew, I have had weird experiences with her in the past. When I first met her, I didn't like her. I resented her for 'stealing' one of my friends (they were best friends before I moved there) She didn't like me, I didn't like her. I don't really know what happened. She became a little less abrasive, I became less judgmental. The friend we 'fought over' moved. For a while it was just  a stagnant sort of relationship, but we've grown a lot closer. I'm really grateful for that.
Anyway.
Lists.
Things to get hyped about

1. The game tonight.
2. The skeleton war (I've been recruited, guys)
3. HALLOWEEN
4. Season 2 of Stranger Things (eventually...)

Things to fear

1. The game tonight
2. The skeleton war
3. Season 2 of Stranger Things
4. Elections

Songs of the Day

1. Welcome to the Black Parade- My Chemical Romance- Where has this song been my whole marching band life?
2. Welcome to your life- Grouplove- It's funny because they are both welcoming. Also the intro to this song
3. Truce- twenty one pilots- THIS SONG MADE ME CRY. I was doing dishes, I was staying home sick, and I started crying in the middle of the kitchen because it's so beautiful. I imagine it as a background song to a moment in life where you've been sitting on the floor of your bedroom and kitchen, you've been going through crap, but you've been sitting there so long that you see the sun rise even though it has been dark for so freaking long. UGH. 

Doodle doodle Gotham Academy Noodles

Inktober

I used different colored pens for this, so it still counts as 'Inktober'. Sorry I haven't posted in a while, guys. The play/church/homework has made me pretty busy.
The play is going pretty well. I have been told that I need to do a cockney accent. Don't know what that is? Go watch My Fair Lady. Now come back. That's what I need to do. Or at least try to do. I've been working on it, and I think I will debut it tonight at rehearsal. It's really awful and really cringe-y, so wish me luck.
Some kid told Amazon the other day that she was 'The pretty sister'. She told me about this today, and we laughed about it a bit. What I was wondering about is what makes 'pretty ' these days. Is it because I don't make a super conscious choice to put effort into how I look? I often wear hoodies, converse, inside-out t-shirts (not on purpose, that just sort of happens with my laundry a lot) , and messy hair.  I don't usually wear makeup. I'm not trying to say that this is the way to go; I like makeup, I like fashion, and I don't think that being super girly or super tomboyish is bad. I just sort of wonder about my tomboy-ish-ness sometimes.
When I first began growing out my hair again, I was really regretting it. I wanted my short hair really badly, and I was telling a friend about it.
M; I want to cut my hair short again, I'm not used to this!
D; No, don't, I want to see your long hair again!
M; Ugh, it was so gross back then! I want to try, but... ugh.
D; I don't know, I liked it. It was really straight, and really feminine. It might give you a bit more of an advantage.
M: Advantage where?
D:... I don't really know. Never mind.
I knew what they meant. I'm almost 16. There isn't a huge amount of pressure, but I'm still sort of expected to start dating and what not. I am interested, I'm excited to date, but do I have less advantage because I'm more tomboyish? What advantage? The advantage of having guys like me? 
I guess I can't really believe that guys are that shallow. Maybe they are, I don't know, I'm not a 16 year old boy.
I think there is a lot of shaming for both being overly feminine, and being less so. If you are stereo-typically 'girly', and you like lots of glitter, and pink, and dresses, and makeup, etc. you are seen as shallow, high-maintenance, and prissy. If you are more of a tomboy, and prefer t-shirts, jeans, hoodies, etc, then you are seen as butch, lazy, and trying to hard to be 'one of the boys'.
I guess what I'm trying to say, is that neither has (or should have) more advantage over the other. We are girls. We like what we like. Everyone else can deal.
Maybe Amazon's new nickname can be 'the pretty one'.
(I'm going to keep teasing her about it, since she was the one in basketball shorts and tight ponytails till she was in 6th grade)
Take advantage of the day, readers.

Settle Down

I sat by some new people today at lunch. Lunch really has been the all consuming topic on my mind lately; where I will sit, who I should sit by, if I should sit by anyone, etc. I sat alone yesterday, and it was alright, but. It was still weird.
I never really understood those people that I knew who were content to not have many friends at school because they
1. Like to be alone, or
2. Had friends elsewhere.
I thought "you spend most of your time at school, don't you want to put effort into knowing people there?"
I have since changed my thinking pattern.
Maybe I'm becoming less social as I get older. Every day I seem to take more pleasure in being alone, or only being with certain, specific, special people; but even then I end the social interaction feeling drained. It's not that I feel like I hate people, or have a grudge against how dumb everybody is (literally the plot of every YA novel about 'alternative' girls) I just don't want to put energy into it. Maybe that's a bad thing. I can't tell.
Maybe I'm just getting older; I was thinking about this this morning; I'm turning 16 in December. 16, supposedly, is a pretty important age. A lot centers around being sixteen. Licenses, dating, aging up from early-teen to young-adult. Figuring out who you are going to be for pretty much the rest of your life. Very important stuff (can you see my eye roll from wherever you are?)
It is important, I'm just too angsty and 'alternative' to acknowledge it. I'm thinking about it a lot, but again, the angst and alternative-ness is getting in the way. I think that this version of me is just what I'm settling into, and 16 will finalize it. Settling into in a good way, I hope. Sometimes settling is not a good thing. I guess I'll just see.

Agh, don't even ask. It's 'modern art'

I'm in a much better mood then what I sound like. It's not super cold out, we have a game (band) tonight, and I don't have much homework. It's not a bad day.
So.
Anyway.
Have a week that settles within  you or that you settle into in a good week, I guess.

Red is life

Red is life by bookworm623 featuring a rollerball pen

Hollister Co. high-waisted skinny jeans
hollisterco.com

Khaki skinny jeans
hm.com

Over knee socks
icing.com

Vans red sneaker
6pm.com

Fjällräven zipper bag
$105 - luisaviaroma.com

White hat
inuinu.com

Agnès b mens cotton shirt
agnesb.us

Rollerball pen
cymax.com

Happy Bills

I've already kind of drawn this picture, I know. I draw Bill all the time, I know. This doesn't look my normal media, I know.
Since we have chromebooks at school, I can waste my time at lunch and draw on sketch apps instead of socializing, so I have taken full advantage of that opportunity. I don't really have any of my close friends at my lunch anymore, with all of the schedule switching, so I've been awkwardly hanging around Amazon's group of friends. They seem really nice, but... I'm still not really one of them, you know? Sometimes I really do just want to sit by myself and draw or read, but I know a lot of people, and I don't want to give the message "I'd rather sit alone than sit by you."
Maybe I should worry less about how people will react to my actions. Just do things, and then if there is a noticeable problem, then deal with it. Essentially just telling myself to only worry about visible problems.
That sounds good in theory, but I doubt I could ever not worry about what could happen. What else would I think about? I'd get bored.
By the way, I have this idea for a short zine series I want to make. I came up with the idea during General Conference because there were a lot of talks about joy, and how people are meant to be happy, even if it's hard to be. I started thinking about the sad girls trend. It's popular to be unhappy- if you are happy, then you are thought of as naive and oblivious. It's trendy to be gloomy,moody, whatever else teenage girls are 'supposed to be'. Not all girls are sad and broken, and that's okay. Sometimes we are sad and broken, but we will be okay. Some are sad and broken, but they're trying to be okay.
I want to call it simply 'Happy Girls', and talk about ways that we can feel happy, what makes us happy, other happy people, and how we can feel joy even when it seems impossible. I want to try to take apart the trend that says all teenage girls should be sullen and miserable. Sure we are sometimes, but it's not a requirement for being a girl. I don't want to ignore or demean people who aren't okay, I want to encourage people to try to be so. We can be happy, despite.
Anyway, I really want to invite a lot of people to work on it; close friends, family, and you guys! If you have something you would like to contribute; an art piece, a playlist, a list, a diary entry, a column, a how-to, a thought, WHATEVER. If it defines happiness to you, or your experiences with looking for it, then I want it. I want it. Email it to me, scan it, hand it to me (if you know me) and I will 99% probability put it in. I will post the pages here to the blog, and potentially Pinterest (I also may print it out. Who knows?)
Hope to hear from you guys.
Have a happy week.