I never really understood those people that I knew who were content to not have many friends at school because they
1. Like to be alone, or
2. Had friends elsewhere.
I thought "you spend most of your time at school, don't you want to put effort into knowing people there?"
I have since changed my thinking pattern.
Maybe I'm becoming less social as I get older. Every day I seem to take more pleasure in being alone, or only being with certain, specific, special people; but even then I end the social interaction feeling drained. It's not that I feel like I hate people, or have a grudge against how dumb everybody is (literally the plot of every YA novel about 'alternative' girls) I just don't want to put energy into it. Maybe that's a bad thing. I can't tell.
Maybe I'm just getting older; I was thinking about this this morning; I'm turning 16 in December. 16, supposedly, is a pretty important age. A lot centers around being sixteen. Licenses, dating, aging up from early-teen to young-adult. Figuring out who you are going to be for pretty much the rest of your life. Very important stuff (can you see my eye roll from wherever you are?)
It is important, I'm just too angsty and 'alternative' to acknowledge it. I'm thinking about it a lot, but again, the angst and alternative-ness is getting in the way. I think that this version of me is just what I'm settling into, and 16 will finalize it. Settling into in a good way, I hope. Sometimes settling is not a good thing. I guess I'll just see.
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| Agh, don't even ask. It's 'modern art' |
So.
Anyway.
Have a week that settles within you or that you settle into in a good week, I guess.
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