2017 like a truck to the abdomen

Hey, guys- happy new year!
New Years is weird; it feels so hopeful, frightened, melancholy, blah, blah, blah. I think it's the weirdest holiday- it has so much tied up in it. We're celebrating release, and the new; we're celebrating out of optimism, because we have to, or fear? Or just celebrating because celebrating because celebration is celebration?
It's been a year. I've been in and out on the blog. I have so so many people; people in general, who I love and don't and who I just like to observe. I have a permit, I have things I now have, and lack things I had last year.
anyway. Here is to a new year, guys. Here are some nye vibes
     (Carly Rae Jepson's 'your type' video)
      (Tavi Gevinson, Rookie Mag, Material Girl mag/unknown)
  (both unknown)
(Petra Collins, unknown)

(Rookie mag, unknown, Franck Bohbot, unknown))
 

A post on Ghosts

Today's photo will come later tonight; tonight is the Snow Ball at church (Stranger Things has ruined me) so I will probably take a photo there.
I just finished the book Ghosts by Raina Telgemier- I got it as a Christmas present and finished it that day. I've been following Raina for a while. I have read every book she's ever written, seen every mini-comic, etc.etc. nerdy fan stuff, etc. Her primary books in my opinion are Smile, a graphic novel memoir based on her experiences with middle school, high school, friends, boys, and extreme dental drama. Extreme dental drama. When it came out, in 2010, I was around the same age as Raina was in the book. I was awkward and immature like her, I was a girl scout, I had fickle friends, and I was just starting the orthodontic process. Smile was solace to me, at the end of the book, there was a picture of Raina when she wrote it; she was a graphic novelist with nice teeth and a husband who survived middle/high school. She was the goal.
 
 When the sequel to Smile came out-Sisters- I flipped.
Sisters hit me on another level- it follows Raina and her little sister Amara and their relationship growing up. Their interactions mirrored me and Amazon's at the time almost perfectly; another win for Telgemier in my book.
Her third book, Drama (she kind of has a thing for single word titles?) was something I picked up while I was auditioning for my second musical. This was her first non-autobiographical book, and it's themes of love, family, acceptance, and self-awareness were just what I needed then. It is the only book I've read that totally supports and represents all aspects of theater. 
 
Now Ghosts. I've been reading Raina's stuff for so long, I felt I had to read it almost out of duty, I wasn't as hyped for it as I as for Sisters, you know? It was good though. It was darker than the others at times. It was a bit cheesier than the others at times. I liked it, but it wasn't exceptional or special or touching the way the others were. That's a little disappointing, but I'm still glad that I read it.
Raina Telgemier, the queen of graphic novels, my first inspiration, you've done it again.

Day 1

I've decided to take a mini-photography challenge that will last until January 17. I'm going to take a photo every day based on prompts from a list I found somewhere on Pinterest. This will not only keep me taking pictures, but it will hopefully keep me blogging. Even though I haven't been on in a while (a while that could have been me just 'letting go') I'm not really ready to not do this anymore. If I'm not going to do this anymore, I'll give you a notice.

Today's prompt was 'self portrait'. My alarm to remind me to take the picture went off at 9, so I rolled out of bed, grabbed my camera, and took a picture.
I've been working on the comic more! I've got 8.5 out of about 110 done!
Oh my gosh. ugh.
I wasn't working on that for a while too, but then I was looking at my old journal with the first character sketches and stuff and just thought "THESE ARE MY BABIES I CANNOT JUST ABANDON THEM." But I'm also an incredibly slow worker when it comes to painting, so it's not going very quickly. ugh.
I'm going to a Harry Potter marathon tonight; aka YEAH BOI. To be honest, I loved Harry Potter and everything, but Harry bugged the heck out of me. Ron, Hermione, Fred, George, Luna, Neville, etc.- they're what made the books for me. Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, though. Whoo, boy. That was an emotional ride for me; I'm a pretty emotional movie watcher, and that was. intense. I am 100% in love with the whole thing. I might be posting some fanart for it eventually.
It's a marathon with other people though. I have definitely gotten better in group situations. I haven't had to flat out leave an event for my anxiety since late September. I've had a bit of a realization that has made it easier to stay. I actually do like people. It's definitely 'trendy' to not like people, and I understand people who don't like people. But I do; my friends are my energy source, I need people. I keep this in mind when I go, and it's more enjoyable. I generally have the early physicals symptoms of an attack; mild shivering, heart beating really quickly, light-headedness; but it's the happy kind. My mind is okay; I'm happy to be there. I just think about that, and it's cool again.
Seeya' tomorrow, guys.

It's been a while, my friends.

Sorry I haven't written in a really long time. I suck. I have also had other things to do. Believe it or not, but I've been developing a social life for myself. It's kind of weird.

I turned 16. Apparently, when you are 16, the only thing adults want to talk to you about is dating, cause that's all we're good for at this point. Hm. I got a camera.

I want to start working on my photography a bit more seriously. I will try and do more shoots, and I'll post them here. The school blocked my blog though, so I haven't been able to do posts at school.

The light in this shoot came from the weird orange sphere light pictured in the top pictures. I was carrying it around and balancing it on my arm/head so I could get the light source right.

This was mainly a test-shoot for my new camera. This picture was me figuring out the flash.

I will try to keep up, guys. Forgive me. I still love you.